Our first two blogs have considered self-identity questions facing MBBs:
1. Who am I?
2. Who are we?
The third blog addressed the very tense identity question posed by family and friends to MBBs, once they notice some spiritual change: Who are you?
These interactions give MBBs the opportunity to witness for Christ. However, these occasions may often be accompanied by fear and trembling, due to the persecution that is often meted out upon those who leave Islam for Christ.
Either before, after, or simultaneous to the interrogation of “who are you?” family, friends and the community will tend to talk about the person or people who have become apostates. This prompts the fourth question “Who is he/she?”
The graphic portrayal of this question is:
Family and friends mean well. Yet, Muslim family and friends will naturally talk behind the backs of MBBs. The direct, “Who are you?” question may indeed only be the tip of the iceberg to the behind-the-back chatter. This is not necessarily malicious. As concerned loved ones, they will want to know what is going on, and what this will mean for them and for the family. Even if great prudence is exercised, they will soon figure out that something significant is happening. This must take place so their “discovery” of the MBBs’ spiritual journey is actually a blessing to all. MBBs can build on that blessing by bearing witness of Jesus Christ.
In terms of timing, family and friends may begin talking behind the MBB’s back before confronting him or her with the “who are you?” question. It could also happen after a confrontation, or it could unfold in a simultaneous progression as a result of multiple interactions.
Muslim family members and friends may experience shock that one so close has done something that Muslims have historically viewed as disgraceful. Naturally, there may be speculations as to the “why?” of what happened. “Has he fallen under a spell?” “Has she been cursed?” “Is Allah judging us for some reason?”
Our first blog mentioned the Sunday School question: What is gray, has a furry tail, climbs trees, and collects nuts? For MBBs, the chatter, gossip, and rumors may result in the conclusion: “He is nuts?” Or, “She has gone crazy?”
The behind-the-back questions can actually be viewed as healthy in the long-term. For the MBB, secret faith is not a long-term solution. So, the behind-the-back talking will tend to prompt a resolution.
As family and friends mentally and emotionally process the situation, time will tend to heal some wounds. The initial shock may wear off, but this may take years. Time elapsed will allow friends and family to monitor the MBB’s life and testimony, particularly if they have not completely ruptured the relationship with this loved one. One challenge MBBs face is restoring ruptured relationships. “You are dead to me!” may seem forever. Yet the power of Jesus’ resurrection can even touch these relationships—sometimes after several frozen decades. In all of these things, patience is a virtue.
Those ministering to MBBs can provide help in the situation in several ways. First, MBBs need a lot of encouragement when family and friends may turn away from them. Second, in some cases, Christian friends can offer to meet with the Muslim family members of MBBs. While this can also be intense, it may also provide reassurance to the family that their family member has not gone insane or joined some radical cult.
Sometimes these painful situations improve in the long run. Nabeel Qureshi experienced a rupture with his family over his decision to follow Christ. At the end of his life, as Nabeel was dying of cancer, his father showed his love and care by making a heart-warming video with his dying son.
In a similar example, a Jordanian man named Muhammad had been disowned by his family. They had a funeral for him, and cut off all contact. He was no longer their son. About 35 years later, the man’s mother called him, imploring, “Son, I would like to see you once before I die.” The man was very emotional telling us his story. Was it sad? Was it tragic? Was it a happy ending? Was it a little bit of “all of the above?”
Whatever the case, the old line, “And they lived happily ever after” usually does not cross the lips of MBBs. However, in Christ there is a happy ending in the heavenly kingdom. We have addressed this in a video made for MBBs, “Are there ever any happy endings?”
While persecution of MBBs remains a reality, increasing numbers of their friends and family are joining them in following the Man from Galilee.
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